The Importance of Social Bonding, Creating Purpose, Learning to Slow Down and Say No

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I believe some key core foundations to living a better life revolves around three things. Creating social connection, establishing a purpose and learning when to stop. 

Let’s touch on these.

Creating Social Connection

Us as human beings have an innate need to bond with others, to create close connections, and whilst social media connects us, it also isolates us. We live in a world that has never been more connected, with the boom of technology, we carry connection around in our pockets.

In reality, though, we live in the most disconnected societies of our time. We create community and conversation online and in some instances unintentionally position ourselves in a state of chronic isolation. 

When we neglect our primal instincts to bond with real, flesh and blood people, we create attachments in the wrong things, video games, alcohol, drugs. These attachments, if long-term, begin to create poor habits that continue to cascade, leading to addiction.

So I encourage you, purposely make time to connect with others, spend time with family and take time to catch up with your genuine friends, the ones that support your goals and dreams. Create community, sports and hobby groups, join a church and create a deeper spiritual bond. I myself attend a church regularly and without it, wouldn’t be who I am today. Connecting with others allows you to better understand your purpose and in some instances, pulls you away from the busy.

Establishing Purpose

Purpose creates more value, motivation, and drive, it gives you a reason to get up in the morning. Now, you may be thinking, it’s not that easy, and you are probably right. Purpose doesn’t always fall into your lap, it takes time, and the key is not to get discouraged. Some of the worlds greatest entrepreneurs started from nowhere, failed countless times again, and failed again, and again until they found their true calling.

Establishing purpose isn’t done alone, it requires the input of others, the negative and the positive. It requires putting yourself out there, getting uncomfortable and working out what’s right and wrong for you. 

What did I do to create my purpose? Well, I went through a massive struggle with alcohol addiction, and whilst it was not pleasant and in some instances, wanted to give up countless times, I pushed forward. In addition to this, I read books, listen to podcasts, I believe learning is an integral part of life and I continue to do so.

Learning when to slow down (or say no)

The world we live in is full of things that make us go-go-go, and sometimes we become so caught up in this pattern of focusing on going from one thing to another. We get so stuck on being busy that we remove ourselves from being present.

Sure, doing things and ticking off goals is great, but when you’re constantly piling up your schedule and not giving yourself time to relax, you burn out. This burn out can be subtle, or it can rear its ugly head in the form of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion and create fairly substantial negative thought patterns.

Myself as a clinical nutritionist and part-time graphic designer, I’ve learned to say no to things that either don’t spark excitement, come at late notice or I just really don’t like.

Learn to say no to things that don’t excite you and resist the urge to burn the candle at both ends.

I’ll leave you with this quote from a poem that hit’s home every-time I read it.

You better slow down, don’t dance so fast, time is short, the music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere, you miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day, it’s like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life isn’t a race, so take it slower, hear the music before your song is over.

Summary

• Create Social Connections – Purposely make time to connect with others, spend time with family and take time to catch up with your genuine friends, the ones that support your goals and dreams.

• Establish Purpose – Purpose creates life value, motivation and drive, what gets you out of bed in the morning?

• Learn to Slow Down – Resist the urge to burn the candle at both ends.

• Learn to Say No – Say no to things that don’t spark excitement, and don’t feel like you need to say yes to please people.

If you have any questions regarding this article or have any areas you’d like me to discuss, let me know, until next time.

All the best in health,
Stephen Brumwell.

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Stephen Brumwell

Former drinker, Nutritionist, Biohacking enthusiast, self-experimenter, research fanatic, and self-taught writer, Stephen immerses himself deep into the literature of human optimisation and better understand the nature of addiction. His goal is to help people take control of their addiction, reset their cravings, unscramble their broken brain circuitry and use actionable strategies that work ten times better than anything else.